Kissing School for Losers – 2012 Official Selection!

Two half-Middle-Eastern stoner brothers (Trey and Tipu) leading a directionless life spend all their time eating and smoking following their father's death, despite their single mother's pleas to get jobs and be productive. When they overhear their mom's conversation on the phone with a mean foreclosure man, they realize if they don't step up and help their mom, they're going to lose their house. After several failed brainstorms, they come up with a fool-proof plan to make money: the very first 'Kissing School for Losers'. Of course, their mother rejects their dismal attempt at heroism, telling them not to worry and that she'll get them out of it. She leaves for the weekend for a job interview, leaving the boys by themselves. Proceeding with the school against their mother's wishes, they enlist the help of their hot friend, Diana, who reluctantly agrees to help the boys out after seeing dollar signs. The brothers make a viral infomercial for the KSFL and spread it online. Using Tipu's weed hideout (a security-less warehouse), the school is an instant success, with Diana and her resistant friends at the helm. After a horrifying first day, the girls quit before being rehired by the desperate brothers (at a price). The second day goes considerably better, and one of the girls even finds love with one of the losers. The losers graduate with flying colors and the brothers surprise their mother with enough money to keep the house and start a lucrative business like their father.

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Santa’s Sack – 2012 Official Selection!

Santa's trip to the hospital reveals the truth behind two of the north poles' best kept secrets.

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Sister Mary – 2012 Official Selection!

Homophobic detective Mark Rima (James Vallo) must "partner" up with the very gay and flamboyant Detective Chris Riant (Shawn Quinlan) to stop a serial killing Nun (Judy Tenuta) from offing 5 band members otherwise known as "The Ex Choir Boys."  But when it is determined that the Detectives can't solve the case on their own, expert F.B.I. profiler Agent Peccant (comedian ANT) is assigned to the case.  As the details of the case slowly emerge the police determine that the "nun" may only be a silent witness to the grisly murders.  The task force then turns its attention on the Catholic Church and a suspect group of Priests that have had a propensity for "cleansing the souls" of innocent choir boys.

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Extremely Used Cars: There Is No Hope – 2012 Official Selection

Chip Douglas is a washed-out alcoholic car salesman at a used car lot. With the endless availability of information over the Internet, customers can now get any information about any car they want. They can find out if it's ever been in a wreck, theft recovery or water damage by means of "CARFAX." In addition, they can also find out a vehicle's true value by factory invoice or Kelly Blue Book, making it almost impossible to make any profit. Now, those still in the business are either trying to come up with scams to make money at it, or to get out of it entirely. While Chip is at an off-track racing bar, he happens across a drink called a Molotov Cocktail. That's when he gets the great idea of burning a bunch of cars forcing people to replace them. Chip then solicits his co-worker buddy John Harris to carry out his desperate plan. Everything works out great, or so they believe. Since all the cars that were destroyed were from their previous customers, they obviously become the prime suspects for the crime. During this time, the other salespeople are coming up with their own ways to get out of the business. Ramone Cordova is a Mexican immigrant that moved to this country so doctors could do studies on his right-hand index finger. For some unknown reason this finger continued to grow after he was fully developed and, by this point, the digit grown to nine inches long. Since he wasn't making much of a living at selling cars, he decided to keep selling them until he could become a porn star. Ramone writes his own porn screenplay that only he could star in, contributing slapstick elements to the story. The "in-your-face" humor is brought by the antagonist, Justin Rhoads, who is a chemically-imbalanced schizophrenic and delusional. Throughout the film, he daydreams about killing his customers and co-workers. He, in a hilarious way, will offend just about every type of person he encounters, delighting the audience when he is framed for arson and insurance fraud.

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Bert and Arnie’s Guide to Friendship – 2012 Official Selection

Bert Sheering is a sensitive professor and author of feminist literature who deep down churns with sexual frustration.

Arnie Hubert is a loud, obnoxious, womanizing businessman who's completely oblivious to how inappropriate he is in almost every situation -- even when he falls madly in love with his new female boss, Sabrina.

Bert and Arnie eventually come to realize that they are actually two sides of the same emotionally inept coin.

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Jason Holtzhouser Confirmed For 2012 Laugh or Die!

Jason Holtzhouser knows how to stick out in a crowd, but that's only because he's tall.  Born in Oklahoma and raised in southern Illinois, Jason moved North to pursue an education and a career in comedy.  After spending years behind a camera and at a computer to earn his diploma, he's now focused entirely on comedy.   A life-long fan of stand-up comedy, he's been honing his craft at open-mic nights and the occasional showcase in the Chicago-land area.Read More

Chris May – Stand Up @ 2012 Laugh or Die!

Chris May is the "New Kid On The Block" in our funny funny world.  His debut stand up performance was in August 2011.  Don't let his lack of experience fool you tho, this comic will have you laugh for hours (if not half way to cardiac arrest).  Daytime Chris performs the art of tattoo at Dekalb Il's "Proton Tattoo Studo".  With a daily dose of such a variety of personalities in and out of the tattoo shop, he is sure to never run out of material.  Come see what fun Chris May has in store for you, and hit him up for some ink while your at it!

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Suzzanne Monk – Stand Up @ 2012 Laugh or Die!

Suzzanne Monk is a one-woman comedy dynamo.  She has been seen at the World Famous Comedy Store in Hollywood, CA, all over Chicagoland, and in colleges around the Midwest.  She is heard weekly on the award winning DAMage Report Radio Show on LA Talk Radio.  Her multi-character, one-woman sketch comedy, 2 Boob Productions, has been compared to an American Tracy Ulman. She has been one of MySpace's Top Ten Women Comedians for years. She cohosted and cowrote Fearless Radio’s Peace and Pipedreams Show (2007-08), with tens of thousands of listeners.  She's been seen by millions worldwide on YouTube, Google Video, Revver and many more.  She produced and hosted both the Big Busty All Female Comedy Showcase featuring Jen Kober,  and the Chicago Bad Bitches of Comedy featuring Vanessa Fraction.  To name a few... Learn more about Suzzanne at www.SuzzanneMonk.com

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Caryn Ruby – Stand Up @ Laugh or Die 2012!

Caryn Ruby has hosted shows and performed stand-up from Los Angeles to NYC.  She recently opened for Donnell Rawlings at Zanie’s Chicago & featured at the Las Vegas Comedy Show. She's a contributing writer/performer in the TVHAMS Comedy Troupe which airs weekly on CAN 19 as part of the Gentleman Grochowski show, and co-host of the Lady Rerun Radio Show every Friday on blog talk radio. You can check out her work at http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=carynruby or on her official website: www.carynruby.com

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Darren R. Marlar – Stand Up @ Laugh or Die 2012!

Darren Marlar is an entertainer through and through, performing stand-up comedy for churches and corporate events, acting in film and television projects, hosting a daily radio entertainment feature, writing comedy for radio stations around the country, lending his voice acting skills to various projects and more! In all areas his objective is the same – to keep your audience entertained!

When it comes to stand-up comedy, Darren will often customize portions of his show specifically for your audience!  And Darren works clean, without using any blue humor or cursing during his performance.  This ensures that your guests will never feel uncomfortable with any of the comedy being performed and makes Darren a great choice for churches and corporate events!

Through his stand-up comedy Darren covers a variety of subjects like marriage, parents, in-laws, holidays, growing up as a redhead, and finds humor in the day-to-day things of life like child bedtime stories, growing older and using a GPS.

Darren Marlar’s credits include starring in the films “Hand of Glory” and “Suburban Legends”, being a supporting actor in films such as “Planet Dead”, “Freedom Dream”, and more as well as TV appearances and pilots as well as several TV commercials.  He’s performed stand-up comedy live on network television on the Cornerstone Television Network and the TCT-TV network.  Darren is also the owner of ONAIRprep, a service designed for use by radio personalities around the country, and he also hosts his own daily radio comedy feature, “Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News” which is consistently rated in the top 20 comedy podcasts at Podomatic.com and can be heard online at http://marlar.podomatic.com or on Darren’s website www.marlarhouse.com.

Darren has opened for national music artists like Michael W. Smith, Mark Schultz, Jeremy Camp, Audio Adrenaline and others, and has even opened for national talk radio host, Roger Hedgecock.

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